Today, however, I found the TV ads on YouTube, helpfully subtitled. It turns out that the dog is called Otousan, or "father", and has a Japanese wife and two grown-up kids, although even leaving the dog part out it's clear one of them has been adopted. Let's start with this one:
See what I mean? With me so far? No? Well, let's push on. Otousan is a curious corporate mascot, being as he is rather bad tempered, curt, and a talking dog. He does, at least, have an interest in modern telecommunications, if not one that he's very keen to share. Let's see him in action with his new iPhone:
Now this being Japan, there's no reason for Otousan's fame to stick to TV. His real name is Kaikun, though he really is a dog, and Kaikun/Otousan is now selling books all by himself, such as this one, showing Kaikun on a day in Tokyo - hanging out, drinking beer, taking a dump.
Given all this fame, why is Otousan so grumpy? Perhaps because his brother is Quentin Tarantino? (Sorry I could only find this subbed into Spanish, should be a little easier to follow than the Japanese):
Well, well. Do you love Otousan yet? Even if you don't, you probably won't want him to come to any harm. I mean, these ads are nice and light-hearted, so nothing bad will happen, I expect.
Holy crap! What the hell? Otousan! Otousan, are you ok? Otousan!! You're a cute company mascot, you can't just die, while talking about phone plan options! And why is that girl the only one to see the whole talking-dog thing is actually pretty odd?
So what happens to Otousan? Well - and I think this is my favourite one:
He's OK! OK, I tell you! Goddamn.
There's another one after this but I can't find any subtitles. From what I gather from the comments and some guesswork, Otousan (in hospital, covered in bandages), is still going on about this 10 month plan thing and the doctor finds it a bit weird that they call him father, which is understandable.
So there we go. Search for "softbank dog english subtitles" on YouTube to find more - there's many, many more. Long live Otousan!
from tom